Thursday, September 5, 2013

2014 GS Challenge, Abandon all hope, ye who enter

Or, "You're doing WHAT now?"

As many people can attest I an an AWESOME off road rider.  BMW comes to me on a regular basis with questions on how to improve the GS line of bikes.  Other manufacturers reach out to me almost daily with questions on how to beat BMW at their own game.  This year, I will forgo entering into Paris - Dakar, just to give the other riders a chance to win, but I am still the odds on favorite to win.

It is a burden to be this talented.

These are the statements of a person who has a chance at competing in this year's qualifying event for the US in South Carolina.  These are not statements that refer to me.

I have owned a GS for about a year now.  Captain USA is well kitted out with farkles and such. 

I am well set up with some snazzy gear.

Picked up my Rallye edition from Max BMW.  Up until July of this year, I had no offroad skills at all.  I took the Max BMW Offroad class and learned a ton.  Really picked up my abilities and confidence.

BMW does the GS Challenge every other year.  They take teams from several countries, fly them to some exotic locale and the teams compete on identical GS motorcycles to see who is the best in the world.

This year, September 20-22 there is a qualifier at the BMW Facility in South Carolina.  I had such a good time learning how to ride my bike offroad, I signed up for this event.  While there is about a zero chance of me making the US Team, I KNOW I will have fun.

There are many crazy drills and challenges for GS riders.

Here are some I found:

So yeeaaahhhhhhhhh........

Anyway, part of the challenge will also be social media interactions.  This is where I hope to really shine, since my skills will probably be my weakest point.  It is not terribly important that skills are the most important part of the challenge.  Bah!  I will win with my word smithery! (smithing? smithness? smithitude?  WRITING!)

I will be heading down to SC Thursday the 19th.  Will be bringing a fresh set of tires with me, or getting them down there.  Once I get down there, I will strip Captain USA to the bone, for the competition.

I am really looking forward to the stupidity and fun.  If you could follow me on Twitter, Friend me on Facebook, or keep an eye on this page for updates, I would really appreciate it!

Wish me luck, I am gonna need it.


  1. When you strip down Capt USA, it's probably be best to leave the seat, gas tank and handle bars on. I highly recommend, however, that you remove the front fender to save weight. That will prevent the sticky, gooey, clay mud from loading up the front end too much. Trust me on this.

    1. I won't have to worry about mud building up on the front tire. I plan on riding wheelies the entire event. Silly you.